I knew a GREAT paying job was waiting on me after I finish my MPA
I could stay in this space in my journey to healing…forward motion can’t stay still
I could TRULY let go and let the Mister (you church folks should get that one)
my sex drive would bring its sorry ass back to me
the mister could finish his career the way we planned
I could get SERIOUS about eating and fitness
I didn’t feel so lazy
my MPA was done
I could vacation in the islands
I was closer geographically to my sisterfriends
I could heal KC’s pain
I knew what I wanted to be when I grow up
he spoke my love language
I could write this book
I felt confident in my Grad work
I was gentler with me
I knew what was PTSD and what was bitchiness
I felt safe
I knew you were safe
I wasn’t so angry
I could do the therapy work and fully heal
I could win 350 million in lotto and take care of the ones I love
I could truly understand why I hang onto my anger
I could be the me I envision myself to be. Now.
We could decide on a summer vacay.
I could just let.go.
I had a job I LOVED.
The people in my life knew how much I love them.
I was strong enough to take the difference.
I still loved beyond all else.
I could stick to a budget. Grrr
I felt his love.
talking to you didn’t feel like 2 steps back
the nothing I felt was like 2 steps forward
The Mister and I weren’t fighting
he didn’t hurt my feelings with his words
I was ready to visit my in-laws
my big sis could be happy living closer to me
I wasn’t fucking TERRIFIED I’m not good/smart enough for grad school
I could write the book I see and recite in my head
my inner dialogue was more positive and affirming
I didn’t FEEL so selfish
The Mister and I could really talk…like adults and shit
The Mister wasn’t sick
winter would get the hell on
we had plans to go some place good and WARM
my boobs would heal already
I had a housekeeper and chef
I had come to forgiveness a long time ago
I was completely healed
I knew what I wanted to do for my 40th birthday
The Mister and I were healed
Thelma was close so I could hug her neck! LOL
Spring had sprung already
I could be the me I know I’m meant to be…today!
I could see things clearly
therapy didn’t hurt so much
I could find peace
it didn’t hurt him to know my truth
this cheap malt liquor didn’t have me tilted
I knew I could trust
things would just work themselves out
people I love could find peace