And So…


This blinking cursor is going to be the bane of my existence.

My world is shaky at best right now, which is sad because this is what we dreamed of so many decades ago.  We wanted the American dream, we worked hard on the journey, but forgot to work on us.  Or maybe we simply didn’t know how.

So I find myself angry and afraid.  Using my voice and feeling like I’m speaking into a void.

In the past week 2 of my very closest friends, my sisterfriends  have mentioned my writing.  I don’t know if I should take that as a sign of what I SHOULD be doing.

And so I write.  I think about life and I write in my head, but it never seems to make it “on paper”.

I won’t say my life is shit, because I know my life is good, certain parts I just don’t want to think about.
I don’t feel strong like bull, but I don’t feel all that weak either. I do feel off track, like I have no insight to where I’m suppose to be.

My girl KC has gone through a divorce, she has recently asked me to write her story.  While I feel she wants me to “be her voice” I think she is still afraid to use her own.  I like the idea of a satirical writing of her life, the content is heavy and I don’t want to make light of such heavy material.  She seems to have faith that I can bring to light her struggle while making light of it at the same time.

My thoughts are scattered so the next few posts will be a smattering of my thoughts and emotions.  My fears and my desires.

And so that is where I am as we end the year.

Blessedly I am still here.


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