There are moments I find myself shaky. Moments where my heart and soul are tender in their need for reassurance.
I have tried so hard to stay in my lane. To allow you to live the life you have constructed. I have to tried to stay safe for both of our sakes.
Tonight it was too much, too much anger, too much Jack Daniels, and too much frustration. After the final sip I found myself wanting, needing. I knew no matter what I could count on you to talk me down. To soothe me and not judge my tears.
I felt so safe just letting you in. Even with the lies of the past, I still trust you with the most fragile and tender parts of me. I reached out to you because even after all this time you are my safe place.
I tried to hold back my tears, I sobbed unsuccessful as I let them fall with no shame.
Your words to me “I see you.” I know this to be true. You see me in a way no one else does. Through your eyes I am not perfect, but I am more than my flaws. I am simply me. That me fills this you and we are the we that has evolved through pain, triumph, and love.
I reach for you in the only way I know how. Open, wanting, wounded, and longing.
The best most loving part of you, reaches the best most loving part of me.
It is not perfect, but it is enough for us to be who we have become. Two people in this world of billions who through a lens of love “see” each other.