I‘ve been working away at life.
As strange as that may sound it’s exactly what I’m doing. Working on me and trying to sate those demons that have taken over my life.
My therapist has been asking the tough questions and asking me to put in work…not words ACTION. I’m working toward trying to find me that was lost after my deployment 10yrs ago. My PTSD is real in more ways than I would like to admit. I pushed it aside for a decade and now it’s time to do the work that comes along with understanding myself and healing.
I’m working on loving myself. For most of my life I have felt at odds with the love people have said they feel for me. I need love in very real words and people in my life are not word people for the most part. So I have to WORK at finding the love that they are showing and not assume it’s simply not there.
The Mister and I are caught up in this process of me trying to heal. Though I know he doesn’t understand my unhealed mind (he’s told me as much) he says that he is here and will be more than happy to catch me *if* I fall. It seems all so simple, but I’d rather make it hard (Lauryn Hill).
It touched me that he was able to say that. It feels good to know that he is in my corner. That he’s cheerleading (in his own way) this rocky journey to being healed.