I’m trying to find my way back to The Mister, and find my way back to me.
I find there have been times in the past that I’ve wanted to be close to him, to reach out to him, to be close to him. When those feeling hit me, I would suppress them. I have had a “thing” all of my life of being in fear of wanting someone who did not want me. I know I have issues and I continue to work on them and work through them.
I have put up a good front for many years, the strong me. The fearless me. When the reality is I was quite the opposite in so many situations. I didn’t want to smother him with my neediness. I didn’t want to cling. Avoiding those moments left me feeling a bit out of sorts and a LOT of lonely.
So in 2013 the year of ME, I’m trying to do the things that make me feel good. I touch him, reach for his hand, sit next to him and try to love on him whenever the feeling hits me.
I’m simply trying to do that thing that makes me feel good.