When you ask a question you want to receive a honest answer. I believe The Mister asks questions and expects them to be answered in the way he would at any given moment.
When he asked me if I was happy I answered honestly. I’m not and I still struggle even a year later. He feels secure in this space, so he assumed erroneously, I do too.
There are times I am raging on the inside and I try to shelter his feelings. Then I’m even angrier because when he started flirting with his COWORKER neither one of those motherfuckers were concerned about me.
I told him today I don’t feel safe and I’m still not able to trust fully. I really thought I would be further along in my healing by now. Sadly this is not the case. I’m trying to figure out what I get out of staying angry. The way I see it, anger is my heart and souls way if TRYING to feel safe. It does not work but that’s all I got right now.
He looked defeated and sad after I told him my truth. I don’t want him to feel this way. Hey welcome to MY reality. You drove us here. I’m trying to help us get back on the road to healing
This shit hurts like stepping on Legos.