It’s all love

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I’ve drank too much tonight.  Road trip tomorrow I have to stay sober this weekend.  It’s a birthday I can’t fuck up.  

I keep reading your writings and I want to reach out for my own selfish reasons, but I know you well enough to know you are trying so very hard to be a better you.  I have love for you so I stay in my lane.  Oh God I miss you so much.  I want to call or text.  Connect.  I want to laugh over the things that don’t matter all the while not talking about he things that do.  I miss you BL.  

I miss the way you put me in my place, the way you love me the only way you know how.  Free and unedited.  I feel stupid because I know I want to disrupt what could be real happiness for you, when I claim all I want is your happiness, but do I really?

ion know BL I just don’t know.  I keep my peace because to do anything else would be selfish and hurtful and ion want to be THAT chick.

It’s all love. Love

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