Welp this is just…

Standard

sucktastic

I don’t consider myself an attention whore, actually I feel like I like to be invisible most times.  I don’t know how I got roped into hosting this holiday but it was suppose to be a house warming/4th/birthday type thing.  It wasn’t my idea but I went with it because it seemed like a good idea and July 2012 was AGES away.

Well it is upon us and wouldn’t you know I’m thinking to myself…this just sucks.  I’m not a hostess, I get anxious when a lot of people (even family) is in my space.  Which is why I usually only have Thelma (hey girl) over.

I turned 39th today and not once all fucking day has my family asked what I wanted to do.  Actually my family didn’t even consider me in their plans for the day, which is MY b-day.  From breakfast to evening plans just a big ol fat nothing.  I didn’t expect to be doted on today but I it would have been nice to be their first thought TODAY.

So my Plan A for next year is to let these niggas do their OWN thing, I plan to leave my children with my inlaws and celebrate my holiday/4th/birthday doing exactly what I want.  I’m pretty much done doing holidays with a large group of people, well any get together with a large group of people.  It’s just not for me and it brings out the worst in me.

This birthday has been utterly sucktastic from the beginning.  I guess at damn near 40 I should be used to this by now.

I’m going to get drunk now…yep real fucking drunk…happy fucking birthday to me.

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