I’m where I need to be. I have to say I’m sad that you are not being a person of your word. It is what it is.
I am no longer someone you can come to for unconditional acceptance. I laid bare my conditions again it is what it is.
It’s disconcerting that someone who has so much knowledge of the world can not see passed the nose on their face to see you can NOT go back to what is not there…this right here…only forward motion sweetie.
Don’t like my condition, don’t like what this has become, don’t like what you hath made…get.the.fuck.on.
I told you this is not a game. It’s game over.
Happy New Year!
I can’t believe I haven’t blogged in over a month. *sigh* I haven’t wanted to write. Things are moving along and I’m afraid if I don’t blog now it will be July before I blog again.
We are in the new house and tension ensues. It’s always about the money and how we spend it and where it goes. He feels entitled to spend money on his wants and I feel the HOUSE needs should come first. I’m not even speaking on extravagant things, something as simple as WINDOW shades. Yes most of the 30+ windows are not covered. He hates hanging curtains, I simply CAN’T do it. AND NONE of the downstairs windows have proper coverings, no shades, no blinds NADA. So I’m thinking there will be a blow up in the coming days. My stance…NO FUCKING TRAINS UNTIL ALL THE WINDOWS ARE COVERED! It seems so simple to me.
He wants to spend money on shit for himself, total disregard for our new home. I always feel like I HAVE to be the adult, the “no” person. BUT this is the same man that wants to spend money but hasn’t opened a book for promotion in WEEKS. This promotion would be quite a nice raise. I truly believe he’s not even trying because HIS promotion would mean *I* get to stop driving HIS hand me down 2005 SUV and get my true car love. I know when this “discussion” starts he’s going to tell me to work some overtime. *sigh*
So my blessings abound, but this man I’m married to is an idiot. Thank God (really probably ain’t got shit to do with God) for small things I hold onto in my life.