It would seem today is one of those days that keeps me second guessing where we are headed. I feel put upon and disregarded. I guess I allow him to make me feel this way. The mister decided he needed a new truck. We didn’t argue about it, I didn’t make a big deal about it even though *I* am suppose to be getting the new vehicle…the last TWO new cars have been his (we aren’t even going to talk about the motorcycle that is now gone to the big pile up in the sky). I didn’t jump on the chance to get MY new vehicle and I allowed him to make his move…stupid me. So once again he has new and shiny. We are in the middle of a move, the house still hasn’t sold and I still don’t have employment. *sigh*
Sooo this morning I take El Syd for a Pedi and he texts me saying he wants to spend $500 on trains (yes trains AGAIN). I simply said no…if our house doesn’t sell we are looking at renting (which means deposits and first and last months rent…roughly 3-4K). He of course wasn’t really asking for input on his purchase, but rather giving me a heads up on what he plans to spend. He then pointed out that I bought a new purse…make up and make up brushes…okay but oddly he has forgotten the EXTRAS he’s bought for his brand new 2011 40K truck…side rail protectors and a $2K DVD system for “the kids” (we won’t even bring up the amount it takes to fill the tank…guess I just did). He reminds me that truck was a BIRTHDAY gift from me so that money really doesn’t count…not his exact words but you get the idea.
I’m tired and sad today, I’ve let him fuck up yet another day for me, a beautiful day at that! He really doesn’t care what he has to say as long as he gets the things he wants. I wanted a new Louis Vuitton, but I put that on hold because I knew what our finances are like at the moment. I wanted to save money for the move…money we will need. He spent my Louis money on his truck. Without a second thought…how sick and selfish is that.
I’m married to this man, a man who claims to love me…it would seem he loves himself a bit more.
I have spent almost $700 on my graduation party. I know he WANTS to say something. I didn’t buy the one thing I wanted (I feel I earned) because I know we needed the money for the move…obviously he doesn’t agree. Seems like we never do when it comes to what he wants.
It’s always something.
He has fucked up my peace!