My Auntie G called me yesterday to talk. We talked about my mom and how I have stayed prayed up as what to do about our relationship (lack of). My Auntie G agreed with my girl PT that I need to meet my mom where she is. I need to stop living with the hope that she will some how change and become the person I *want* her to be. That is where my heartache is coming from. The desire to change her and the disappointment that comes when she shows me over and over she is who *she* is.
My Auntie G asked me to think about asking my mom to help me take care of the kids when clinical starts. The mister will be home shortly after I start (please Lord) but I will need help for roughly 2wks. I was initially resistant to the idea, but as I thought about it, it made sense. With the move looming in just a few months the rugrats would get a chance to REALLY spend time with my mother. They haven’t spent quality time with her since El Syd was a baby and I was deployed to the sandbox.
So I ran the idea by the mister today and he left the decision up to me, but was supportive of my mother being her. I truly love that man.
I decided today to call her and run the idea by her. She happily agreed and seemed really joyful that I had requested her to take care of them (instead of my MIL).
So on Tuesday I will get the details of my clinical hours and I’ll make plans to get my mother settled here before I start my clinical hours.
I’m nervous as hell, the last time my mother came to visit me I lived in NC and Jah was a newborn. It didn’t go well.
My plan is to stayed prayed up and remember I need to meet her where she is. I am who I am meant to be and she is a part of that good AND bad. I miss the mother I remember from long ago, but my mother is still here with me. I know some people aren’t that blessed.
I can’t wait for my kids to get to know my mom, this is going to be an adventure.