I recently joined a message board for military wives. I wanted to get some info on our new assignment (didn’t get much). The vibe on the board is really cool for the most part.
I suppose being in the military for over a decade has made me cynical…jaded. As I read the different posts I find myself shaking my head and tsk tsking.
One lady asked for advice…she had been inappropriate with a friend while her boyfriend was deployed…these folks TORE HER ASS UP!!! I stopped reading the thread after the first couple of pages but there were at least 14 pages of finger wagging last I checked. <insert eye roll>. They called her weak, told her she wasn’t ready to be a military wife…that she should tell her man WHO IS IN A FUCKIN’ WAR ZONE what she had done.
I have to say I saw a lot of mischief while I was active duty. A LOT. Some I was a part of, but most I was not. As I read how these women are waiting (some married some not) for their SO to return to them I’m struck by how I try NOT to pity them. MOST of the military men *I* have known have cheated in one way or another. Whether it be emotionally or physically most have crossed that line. The wives usually aren’t told. The whole shop/ squadron will know and folks (myself included) aren’t saying shit! Either the person is your friend (like a brother or a sister) or you don’t want to get in someone else’s business. You may have to trust your life to the same person you dimed out. Not a place you want to find yourself residing.
As these women tore this woman down, I wanted to let them know that more than half of them DON’T know what the fuck their husband is doing in a war zone. Over half of them will never know that woman (or man in some cases) that is smiling at you at the next squadron function is fucking your man OR knows someone else who has. The person who is hanging out at your house for the next BBQ knows, but they aren’t breaking the code. These women have no idea that the same men they are waiting for, know the code and will condone (through silence) their friends infidelities and misdeeds. They have no idea.
Trust and believe I don’t put the mister on any pedestals.
Guess that makes me cynical, but I’ll never tell.