Things I learned in Germany

Standard

German beer is the best fucking thing EVER!

German food with have your bowels stankin’ like death

Dropping a deuce (pooping) will have YOU wanting to leave the bathroom

Summer in Germany ain’t nuthin like summer at my house

The food is heavy and comforting

You have to pay to use public restrooms (50 euro cents) and it well worth it…the bathrooms are always clean…SCORE!

German people don’t bathe/wear deodorant like American and SOME of them STAY FUNKTASTIC and not in a good way

I am NEVAH EVAH NEVAH EVAH going on another vacay without my hubby and kids to a place WITH someone else’s hubby and kids.  HELL NAW!

If you allow a three year old to show his ass without knocking him the fuck out it makes for a strained vacay

I am capable of not knocking out the three year old mentioned above because I love the hell out of his mama

Banana beer is really great even though it SOUNDS disgusting

I didn’t see not one sexy/hot German guy

Germany is a lush green country

The Autobahn ROCKS!

Ausfahrt is not a city in Germany…it means exit

I don’t like three year olds

My BFF ChiRod is amazing even if she doesn’t know it

I’m fat and I need to get back to the gym

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One response »

  1. I had the opportunity to become stationed in Germany once during my military days. I declined. Then, when my friends ended up in Germany and insisted that I had made a bad decision, I felt really really bad.

    Three year old’s are something else with themselves, eh?

    Too funny @ German people don’t bathe/wear deodorant like American and SOME of them STAY FUNKTASTIC and not in a good way

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