We talk around it, can’t seem to talk through it.
BL and I
He has already taken full responsibility for his fuckery. I can’t and won’t ask for more than that.
But we have always been able to talk. I feel like I can’t be safe with him. Like my words will just continue to wound the both of us. So when he asks what’s on my mind. I can’t open my mind and heart enough to share.
I’m so sad. So angry. He changed us with his selfishness ( I always thought I was the selfish one!) and I feel different, still dazed, still confused. I can’t make peace with this. He has changed us. Without my consent he has taken us to a place that is quiet. So quiet.
In that quiet I can hear us as we USED to be. I miss that. I miss the talking, the laughing, the comfort.
We are strained BL and I feel like there has been a death, I feel the grief, the loss and then I listen and all I hear is quiet.