Ah BL.

I wanted to write you today, but here I sit silent.  Unmoving.  I feel torn about how I handled this.

From one day to the next I don’t know how I’m going to feel.

Some days it’s relief and some days it’s sadness.  Oh how I miss you.  Really miss you.  Worse than before.  I keep trying to close this off, to make this right.  To make it FEEL right.

From one day to the next it does and then it doesn’t.

Sometimes it takes my breath away.  Sometimes I think of something you said and I laugh, really laugh.

There are moments when I feel like crying.  There are moments of calm.

Oh how I miss you.


2 responses »

  1. Well, this sounds like a dilemma of sorts. Having been in position once or twice myself I think you really have no choice but to allow yourself to let the object of your affection know exactly how you feel. I cannot believe you would rather regulate yourself into simply missing this person.

    There is absolutely nothing to be gained from missing a person, except heartache. Correct?

  2. Hey Don!

    He crossed a line. A line I asked him on several occasions not to cross. I was VERY clear. I let him know his actions (even if done in love) were not acceptable. I removed him from my life, I’m dealing with that fallout.

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