The mister told me he wants to talk this evening. I am dreading it, because I know he’s going to point out everything I’ve done wrong…every slight, every misstep. He has a way of making everything my fault. While I’m happy to admit I fucked up…well not happy, but I can “man up” I don’t like not being able to point out where he may have hurt me or how he needs to shoulder some responsibility of any give situation. I know my feelings won’t get validated. I’ve stopped expecting anything close to that some time ago.
It’s hard to believe that I was once in love with this person. I trusted him, planned a life with him.
Mayhaps he will tell me he needs a break, he’s ready to take a time out and move elsewhere. While I’m not wild about that idea I wouldn’t fight it either. I feel in my spirit when the first move is made, I will get myself in motion and take care of the rest. Not sure why I can’t take that first step. Mayhaps I’m hoping all is not lost, that some how we can battle back to where we were both happy and satisfied in this marriage. I’m confuzzled.
I’m not sure where I stand now. But I have a feeling I will be the only one holding the bag of fuck ups.
Only time will tell.