I don’t feel like I owe you anything. When I reached out to you, you simply gave me one line, or perhaps a line and a half telling me it was okay(when it was obvious by my words I wasn’t).
The distance, the silence. You see once upon a time those things would drive me into a spinning phase of pain and tears, but not this time.
Just as you don’t owe me anything (as you’ve showed me time and again) I owe you just the same.
I can see now where your life went off track. We all have done those things to the people we love, not making them the priority. In our minds they will be there when we complete whatever task currently has our attention. I’m sure this has worked for you in the past, but for me no longer.
I don’t even feel sad anymore, perhaps this is your way of telling me LOUD and CLEAR this is who I am and this is who YOU are to me. SMH.
Perhaps in your mind you have moved on. Here I stand, fine with that. Fine with the silence and the distance. Knowing I am safe, because I loved you with a full heart. Knowing I did my part and at times YOUR part too. I’m not blaming you, I blame me. Loving beyond reason when I knew it wasn’t safe or healthy.
I don’t know what the future holds, but it won’t be you holding me.