I talked to my BFF KC today. We haven’t talked in ages since I have been on the road on and off all summer.
KC and I have been BFF for over two decades. We both have mama issues, but I have to say her issues with her mother run in a whole different direction then mine.
Last year while KC and her husband were making out their will she asked her mother if she would be willing to be the guardian of her two young children if KC and her husband both died. Her mother told her she was done raising kids and would take a pass on taking on more children. KC was hurt, but she understood her mother’s stance on starting all over again.
KC has two other sisters one who has 4 children and one who is unable to have children of her own. Her sister with the 4 children is a slug and her kids are constantly hungry and dirty. Childrens’ services has made several visits to her home so KC wouldn’t dream of leaving her children with her. The sister who can’t have children is currently married to a man KC has no love for. I told KC I would take her kids, but she knows I don’t plan on staying in this part of the U.S. and she wanted her kids raised around these parts around her and her husband’s families. I wasn’t an option. She decided on some long times friends that her kids know and love.
Fast forward a few months. KC is informed by her mother she is adopting KC’s step brother’s( who is incarcerated) daughter who is currently living with KC’s mother’s and step father. This little girl’s mother turned her 3 kids over to the state. The little boys (who are not related to KC) are being adopted by a family who wanted to adopt all 3 kids to keep them together. KC’s mom shot this idea down. Did I mention this little girl hasn’t had any contact with KC’s family in her 8yrs of life? Yeah there was no grandparent bonding, no fatherly love. KC’s family were strangers to this little girl. Sad but that is what her mother and locked up father had worked out over the years.
KC is livid, her mother is forcing this little girl on KC and KC’s family. KC’s mother is adamant that KC embrace this little girl and call her sister. KC loves kids but she has an aversion to this little girl. While she understands this little girl’s life has been difficult (just as KC had been) she doesn’t feel the need to make this little girl a part of her everyday life. She says the little girl isn’t respectful or well behaved and KC’s mother isn’t trying to rectify these misbehaviors. KC resents the fact her mother sees this little girl as her “do over” to right all the wrongs she made with KC and her sisters.
I told her to embrace whatever she is feeling. I told her she has her own life and there is nothing wrong with keeping a safe distance from her mother who has been hurtful in more ways then I care to count. Society tells us that we must love and adore all children, I say that is bullshit. If a kid is an ass, then they’re an ass.
KC’s mom has asked her to become this little girl’s guardian if she or her husband should die (they are 56 and 66) KC gave a resounding hell no. KC’s mom is now hell bent on shoving this little girl in every aspect KC’s life. KC’s mom expects KC to take her along when she takes her own 2 children on outings. KC has refused to do so and her mother is livid. KC has told her in no uncertain term she will not be straddled with this “sister” as she was with her own two sisters growing up. Her mother called her jealous and petty. KC owned up to that, she told her mother had she mothered lovingly and openly with her own biological children she wouldn’t need a “do over”.
I feel her pain as I have younger siblings I feel no love for, ones I would not raise if the something tragic were to happen to my Dad.
Blood or familial ties doesn’t always mean love, I don’t care what society says.
I told KC straight up…That bitch is out of her mind