I know that he is unhappy in his job.  He’s been gone for 8wks and he was dreading going back.  He’s on his own with beasty for the next two months.

I’m not sure why he called this morning.  There are times I truly think he likes making me feel bad that he is stuck & miserable  in a job, he took for our family.  I don’t know how to feel about that.

I want to tell him to suck it up and press, but I have been there and a shitty job is soul killing.

He called me this morning to tell me there were MASSIVE openings closer to his parents.  I don’t mind being closer to his parents, I love them, but you don’t walk away from nursing school.

I explained to him again we would have to set up two different households.  Which we COULD do financially but emotionally I believe it would be the end of us.  I’m still dealing with the fallout of his betrayal (yeah I’m still not over the lying and the sneaking and the lying…did I mention the lying?  LOL).  Living a FULL days drive away him and the kids would be…painful.

I told him while it may seem like the answer right now, he might actually be going from the pan to the fire.  He hated the instructors at HIS academy, hated the way things were done, but now he wants to put himself into that environment?  Not the greatest plan.

I told him I understood hating your job.  I told him I think he can make it, for the next 18mths.  I’ve told him and I will keep telling him…I will follow you where ever YOU want to go AFTER I get my BSN.

I feel like I have all this pressure on me to succeed.  I’m scared as hell about school.  I’m trying to block out the self doubt that is that ugly little black girl born into the projects.  She is still in me, but she is NOT me.

I really don’t want him to stop talking to me about how he feels about this job.  I have to figure out a way to not let the guilt eat away at me.  I know he did this for me (and for him) but we have both sacrificed for our family that’s what family does.


2 responses »

  1. He needs to have a plan…that is all I can say about that. Confucious says, “He who fails to plan, plans to fail.”

  2. Oooops, I guess this is the 3rd post. How did I post 2 of the same things? I say…Hell No.

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