Dear Dumb and Dumber


Hello Sgt. Dumb I just wanted to take a few minutes out of my morning and talk to you.  I just wanted to give you a moment of MY time to explain a few things to you. 

I see you girl. 

I know you and sistas like you.  Now I know you think that you are the queen B, but really, look how well that turned out for lil kim, you need to reevaluate and let that go. 

I see the ghetto in you and I can’t be mad, I’m from the same place. 

What you fail to realize is there is a time and place  for everything.  The office is not the time nor the place.  Unfortunately you don’t see that.  The way you go at Sgt. Hal is so unprofessional and it smacks of middle school bullying.  He takes it, because obviously you’ve picked the right one, most bullies do. 

You’ve discounted one very important thing…Sgt T. out-ranks you.  Oops guess that slipped your mind, guess that phony pony is a little too tight. 

Now I know life is hard for you, I mean 4 kids under the age of 6 and you’re barely 25.  That’s hard huh?  Dealing with 3 different baby daddies all by your lonesome…whew girl you must be worn out (guess we could say the same for your pussy). 

So you need to feel like you’re someone special, I get that.  When you wear uncle sam’s uniform you’re never one of kind that’s just the way it is.  

So while you’re running off at the mouth,  bullying and busting on your coworker trying to feel like you’re someone special you don’t see exactly what you’re doing. 

Setting yourself up for failure. 

You see Sgt T. is tired of your bullshit and petty ways, as his champion and cheerleader I am too.  So while you are steadily digging that hole he is documenting every unprofessional move. 

You seem to open your mouth like you open your legs…without thinking of the consequences.  Or mayhaps (maybe/perhaps) you just don’t care. 

So  in a few months when they ask his opinion on your year extension for this special duty he will silently hand them the documentation of your ghetto ass ways. 

Then you’re ass is going to be placed on the deployment roster in your old squadron and before you know it you will be sitting in Iraqastan(I made that up) with bullets and bombs flying all around you rocking to and fro like Sophia from The Color Purple talking ’bout “I knowed there is a Gawd”. 

You have forgotten you are in a man’s world and WE as women (BLACK WOMEN) can’t be half assed, petty, and unprofessional because it ALWAYS comes back to us. 

Oh and when you go to test and you don’t make it, know you lost valuable points because of your yearly evaluation, you earned that 4 girl, hold your head up high. 

So call you’re mama or who ever is going to be taking care of your brady bunch(mayhaps your baby daddies will pitch in) because you just won a free trip, to a war zone.  That is just the way it is.

Hello Sgt. Dumber I just wanted to take a minute of my morning to speak to you. 

I know you’re a grimey bitch. 

Oh you didn’t know how small our community is huh? 

Yeah I know he was married when you got with him and now you got him and you’re miserable. 

Ooopsy, didn’t anyone ever tell you, you don’t turn your twenty into your eighty.  You need to watch a Tyler Perry movie sweetie. 

While you hee hee and haw haw with Sgt. Dumb you should know she is NOT your friend.  A bitch like her needs an audience and you come in quite handy. 

Please don’t get it twisted if there were any other black folks around you would be the target of her ridicule and unprofessional behaviors.  With that hair, that skin and those teeth, sweetheart please she would tear YOU apart. 

I suppose you want to feel apart of something so you cosigning a faulty “loan”.  Your paperwork will stamped with DEFAULT just like Sgt. Dumb’s. 

Keep spinning the wheel becky(yeah I know that’s not your name) and you will find yourself on the sunny, sandy beaches of Iraqastan too.

Oh yeah on a woman to woman note…if he’ll do it with you he will do it to you, you might want to check up on that husband of yours.

You’re both dismissed and have nice day.


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