I don’t know where to begin.
How did I not see his distress, his fear, his anguish?
Was my world moving so fast that I missed the signs or was I simply to angry to allow myself to see them?
So now he is behind lock and key, no shoelaces no belt, no freedom.
I put on my strong face and talked real talk. Explained to him there was no shame in the despair he felt. No shame in wanting to escape from the pain no matter how temporary it is.
Broke down the genetic component that is depression. Told him his dad and I were here to help, not hurt.
Told him we held no hate in our hearts for him, nothing but love and hope.
I saw the tears fill his eyes, though they didn’t fall, I told him it was normal to look over the edge and stare longingly in to the “freedom” of the unknown. Then I told him to never Jump, no matter how bad he might hurt. He’s a fighter, it’s in his DNA.
Today I told him we hold no shame, just hope that each day will bring clarity and another day of life.