I probably need to call my therapist and get an appointment.
With J gone to the psych ward, I think I might just be treading water and not moving forward.
Went to visit my family this weekend and everyone kept giving me the side eye.
I’m not sure what I’m suppose to feel, but I am surprisingly calm.
Doing a WHOLE lot of self talk. Trying to answer the little ones questions on where J is.
I didn’t tell them the truth, it’s too harsh and they are too young to digest suicide and depression.
Perhaps this is the calm before my storm. I’m really not sure.
I am no longer angry with him, I realize this illness has to be handle head on. Mama don’t pussy foot around, it’s not in my nature.
I’ll do the best I can and pray on the rest.