Running in my mind

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I’ve been thinking of alot of things and the way they affect me. It’s strange because I run things over and over in my mind. Things that no one else would give a second thought. I give a third and often a fourth thought.

It’s strange because I didn’t even realized the trap I had fallen into. Not demanding what I wanted or demanding what I didn’t even know I needed.
I don’t think I’ve ever been given his full attention. It makes me understand his situations better. It’s always a rush of words and then onto to something else. Why didn’t I see it before, why is it running in my mind?

It’s strange to me that it’s not about the attention itself but the lack of understanding that it causes, the damage that is done without cruel intentions.
I understand but it doesn’t make me feel anymore connected, and as many times as I’ve said I understand I truly did, but for some reason there is a disconnect.

I understand why some things are like they are…because I’m sure others are often given the same division.
People often believe it’s okay because those things that are MOST important will ALWAYS be there, I too am guilty of similar thinking. Eventually the division becomes a great divide that will not be crossed.

I love him it’s that simple, but I think my love for self has these things running in my mind…with age comes wisdom or at least the ability to see clearly. Even when you see things clearly you don’t actively try and change them. Love is the most powerful thing on this earth…it’s running in my mind.

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